Oct 21, 2020 to that end, there are some ground rules for participating in the group that we ask that everyone follow. Do get a copy of the book for the full details, or get our difficult conversations book summary bundle for an overview of the various ideas and tips. Whenever you hope to facilitate conversations on social justice concerns, whether preparing for a onehour workshop or weaving such discussions into a yearlong class, a vital first step is the development of guidelines for participation. Regardless of the forum, conversations about diversity and inclusion can be difficult. Robin diangelos white fragility spring 2019 library book. No namecalling, whatever your ground rules might be. Good listening requires concentration and attention. Establishing ground rules or guidelines listen respectfully, without interrupting.
Ground rules are a short list of expectations to guide how a group works. In class, instructors can either work with students to generate ground rules or. Ground rules for culturally sensitive conversations. Its difficult to enforce rules and guidelines if they were never set in the first place. Ground rules for talking about controversial topics. One tool that ive found immensely helpful for navigating difficult conversations comes out of community activism. There are few places where courage is more required than in the words we say to each other. Appropriate ground rules may depend partially on age, region, and other contextual factors. The book, a dvd for group study, and a leader guide are available at cokesbury and amazon. To set the right tone at the very outset of a feedback session, diplomatically, but authoritatively communicate the ground rules before delving into your presentation.
In other words, its best if everyone participating is either seated or standing. May 01, 2019 a rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts. Example of team meeting ground rules turn off cell phones cell phones can distract from a productive meeting and result in a lost focus of the meeting topic. Guidelines for discussing difficult or highstakes topics crlt. You probably dont want to have a tough conversation in your. Lets not call names, lets not swear, throw things, whatever.
An experts guide to mastering difficult conversations. The ground rules for continuing courageous conversations are very. Here are sample suggested ground rules for mediation participants. Land on between 35 ground rules and after introducing and explaining what each one means to the group, consider asking the group for additions. Students who identify with the opposing viewpoint form a concentric circle around them. We agree to call each other by our first names, not he or she or worse. Set the ground rules especially if you think theres potential for upset. Work of any kind requires communicationand you may need to broach difficult subjects.
Too often, when we have a conversation or argument while the other person is. Additional ground rules agreed to by the group participants are invited to propose additional ground rules for courageous conversations. Apr 29, 2020 use the specific steps and tips to identify blind spots and pitfalls, and handle difficult conversations skillfully. Setting ground rules civil discourse and difficult. Jan 26, 2018 set up ground rules for your next difficult conversation difficult conversations are challenging in part because you dont know if or when the discussion will go off the rails. Apr 11, 20 difficult conversations is based on the book difficult conversation and is a methodology of how to engage anyone successfully through a difficult conversation.
Difficult conversations with employees are unavoidable, whether its a. Ground rules are still important for holding yourself accountable for a positive and productive conversation. Have the class establish and agree on ground rules for discussion. As much as possible, stay at about the same eye level. A checklist of action items to think about before going into a difficult conversation, including conversation openings. Early on in the semester its helpful to acknowledge that these kinds of moments may crop up, and to give students guidance in advance on how to handle them. It is a method i work with in instructing clients how to work with those that they have typically been challenged with. It works as well in your personal life as it does your work life. Make your meetings a safe space for honest conversation. Not stating them fully and thoughtfully can easily open the door to frustration and further erode trust. If a goal of conversations about equity and social justice is to challenge current structures. If so, the additional ground rules should be written out for everyone to see. The following list of common ground rules from equity, diversity, and social justice related classes and workshops should serve only as a starting point for your process of creating a similar list suitable to your own situation. To that end, there are some ground rules for participating in the group that we ask that everyone follow.
Ob, cardiologist, nurse 5 poor teamwork physicians beeper 6 disrespect any intelligent nurses. Ground rules for difficult conversations and talking about race. Listen actively and with an ear to understanding others views. Oct 10, 2018 here are some commonly used ground rules collected from colleagues and meetings weve been a part of. Difficult dialogues center for teaching vanderbilt university. Give yourself permission to focus fully on the conversation please silence your cell phone, if you must use it step out of the room. Guidelines for discussing difficult or highstakes topics. Opposing arguments are grounded in reason and evidence and they are put forward within strict guidelines for courtroom decorum. Engaging in difficult conversations diversity woman.
Just because these conversations can be difficult is not reason. Ground rules for difficult conversation s and talking about race do. Nctc courageous conversations ground rules for participants stay engaged give yourself permission to focus fully on the conversation please silence your cell phone, if you must use it step out of the room. Setting ground rules for productive discussions umn extension. How to handle difficult conversations at workour 7step. Ground rules help a group start and maintain a productive discussion. A difficult conversation around a disagreement can be a crucially productive. Oct 22, 2019 in difficult conversations, even the smallest amount of agreement, acknowledgment, goodwill, or concession can provide a raft in the flood of words and emotions.
Establish some ground rules for the group in the middle of the room. No side conversations side conversations are rude and often distract and create division among team members. Whether youre dealing with an under performing employee. Opposing arguments are grounded in reason and evidence and they are put forward. Handling difficult conversations comes in two phases. We agree to take turns speaking and to try to not interrupt each other. Listen actively refrain from side conversations speak your truth. Share a story, state your opinion, ask a questionrisk and grow. Dont just think about what you are going to say while. Ground rules clarify expectations for behavior in the meeting. Jan 30, 2019 talking about controversial topics has become a daunting task. A ground rule by any other name may possibly smell less. Ground rules for difficult conversations and talking about race pdf.
Aug 30, 2016 specifically, ground rules are used to establish the purpose of group, outline how meetings and conversations will be conducted, ensure that conflict is addressed but not escalated and create a. Ground rules for difficult conversations and talking about. Set up ground rules for your next difficult conversation. The following guidelines can help instructors facilitate classroom discussion around. Handbook for facilitating difficult conversations in the classroom. If the idea of working with your team to set rules rubs you the wrong way, consider these alternatives. Ground rules help establish expectations for how people will talk with one another and offer a tool for helping to maintain an open line of communication. Using ground rules to improve engagement and run excellent. One ground rule is assuming positive intent, in spite of holding opposing views. As a class, establish classroom norms that include a list of. There are several effective ways to create ground rules or norms. Sep 29, 2020 ground rules are a list of terms that participants agree to followand the facilitator agrees to upholdduring a conversation.
There is no one set list of ground rules that facilitators. Guidelines for discussing incidents of hate, bias, and. While i have read crucial conversations, the others are new to me. How to have difficult conversations follow these guidelines for challenging encounters and fighting fair. Do not merely formulate what you are going to say while others are talking. I ask you to just listen, and then if you want to respond, ill listen, iyanla says.
Jul 05, 2017 i would add difficult conversations by stone, patton and heen. The discussion group may adopt the ground rule that dysfunctional role behaviour will be censured by members of the group. Tips for facilitating a virtual group conversation. Clarifying expectations about class discussions early on can prevent contentious situations later. We usually anticipate distress because difficult conversations often become emotional, leading us to confront, freeze, bolt, or gloss over the issues. Start by following some fundamental ground rules for all conversations whether with colleagues, in a team, or in larger group settings. Referring back to these community agreements can be very helpful if discussion becomes tense. The first is the laying of a foundation for productive discussions. Burned out 3 mistakes incorrect medications 4 incompetence eg. Some people bristle at the idea of setting ground rules because it sounds too restrictive and punitive. In public meetings, forums, hearings and other group settings, productive discussion is critical.
In those tougher discussions, it can help to lay out some rules ahead of time, as awkward as that might feel at first. Whenever you hope to facilitate conversations on social justice concerns, whether preparing. The way an academic leader handles a difficult conversation can have a major effect on how the issue gets resolved. Discipleship ministries ground rules for group discussion.
In an interview with academic leader, gail whitelaw, director of ohio state universitys speechlanguage hearing clinic, offered her recommendations for managing these conversations. Listen actively respect others when they are talking. Speak from your own experience instead of generalizing i instead of they, we, and you. How to discuss what matters most a highlevel summary of the book by stone, patton and heen office of human resources the ohio state university 1590 n. Here are some suggestions about how to create that space. Mar 02, 2021 tom berlin says that candid conversation takes courage. Participants are invited to propose additional ground rules for courageous conversations.
Communicate the ground rules ux designers are responsible for reminding stakeholders about the ground rules for constructive critique. There are some things we can do, individually and collectively, to improve those difficult conversations. Apr 11, 2019 the quest for better meetings ultimately lies in leading with mutual respectful, inclusivity, and establishing a space that is safe enough for people to speak their minds. Like in las vegas, what happens in meetings should stay in the meeting. The group may wish to discuss before deciding whether they agree to abide by additional ground rules. Based on our tool, engaging in conversations about gender, race, and ethnicity in the workplace.
A list of ground rules for effective meetings get the picture. We will ask questions of each other for the purposes of gaining clarity and understanding and not as attacks. Acknowledge that even though race is a social construct i. Ground rules expectations the purpose of dialogue is to form a new basis from which to think and act william isaacs and to understand and learn from one another. He suggests 5 practices for approaching difficult conversations. Ground rules for talking about controversial topics leading. What i like about it is that the authors include many, many examples of the traps we can fall into when the stakes of s conversation are high. Make it safe to talk a safe conversation is one in which both parties feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings without negative ramifications and without feeling threatened. Shift your attention to any sound or the space itself, or use your creativity to insert a pause or take a break. Do not be afraid to respectfully challenge one another by asking questions, but refrain from personal attacks focus on ideas.
In class, instructors can either work with students to generate ground rules or discussion guidelines, or they can present a set of guidelines and then work with students to accept or modify them. A list of ground rules for effective meetings get the. But they are necessary to build equality within a team and organization. He suggests five practices for approaching difficult conversations with openness, honesty, sensitivity, and grace. Setting ground rules civil discourse and difficult decisions use these ground rules and the examples written by other students to develop your own norms of civil discourse. Setting some boundaries and ground rules for the conversation are a great way to make sure that things dont get out of hand. Facilitators reinforced ground rules, kept the conversation on track and provided space for difficult emotions. Ground rules for difficult conversations and talking about race do. Engaging in conversations about gender, race and ethnicity in the workplace offers ground rules, identifies roadblocks to having conversations across differences, and provides tips to make progress. How to have difficult conversations psychology today. Setting ground rules listen actively respect others when they are talking. Difficult essential 1 broken rules washing, armbands, abbrev.
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